The Hand Love Deals Us
by Katherine McRae
Summary: This is a Newsie-SongFic. It's based but not named after a Josh Groban Song. The Song is called Never Let Go. My Friend Sarah Helped me with the editing. Thank you Sarah! Enjoy Kay McRae
1. ProlougeIntro

The Hand Love Deals Us

Prologue/Intro:

It was a great day, that day.  
It was the day we won.  
The day we had the power.  
The one day we were Kings of New York.  
It was also the day of another thing,  
An awakening...

For once it was peaceful in New York; and peace on the streets of New York, that is a rare day indeed. But things are never what they seem, and though things seemed peaceful on the outside, on the inside there was a war raging. One war in particular was being fought in the middle of a Newsboys lodging house. It was an emotional war. The kind that makes and breaks hearts. This war was breaking them.


	2. A Darker Day

Chapter one:  
  
"Firefly. Fire! It was an accident alright?! I'm sorry." She kept walking, almost running, away from him. The lodging house floor creaked with every step Firefly took. It seemed to be screaming at Jack, "She's hurt!" "You hurt her!," over and over again. Jack shook his head in an effort to clear it, to drown out the voices. Persistently, he kept her pace, he wasn't going to let her go that easily. "Fire wait." He pulled her to a stop. She turned around, facing him but still avoiding his eyes. Jack was holding her by the arms, he stooped down and caught her gaze. Her blue eyes were filled with anger, and the tears threatening to fall showed her pain. She glared back at him, refusing to give into him. Resisting the urge to brush some strands of hair out of his pitiful looking, chocolate brown eyes, she hardened her jaw. "I didn't mean to." He pleaded.  
  
"Didn't mean ta what?!" Firefly exploded, emotions pouring out.  
  
"It was an accident? What happened? De crowds just pushed you two together right? You two just knocked heads an yer lips collided. Right?! Is dat what yer tellin' me?"  
  
She took off her black cabbie hat, her brown curls spilling down her back.  
  
"Jack! Dat-"she gestured towards the street with her hat. "Dat, was not an accident." She shook her head, and he lowered his eyes. "Ya know what? I can't handle dis right now. I- I can't even look at you right now. I'm goin' fer a walk." Thus saying she walked out of the lodging house and into the streets of New York.  
  
Jack with his back against the wall watched her walk away, again. He leaned tiredly against the wall. Slowly he sank down to the ground and began to bang his head against the wall. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"  
  
Poker walked down the stairs in time to see Jack banging his head. She knelt down next to him, her green eyes twinkling with amusement. "What's da mattah Cowboy?" He glared at her. She knew perfectly well what was wrong. By now, everybody did. She smirked. "Yer little kiss wid that Jacobs goil get ya in trouble?" He stood up, and ran his fingers through his dirty-blonde hair.  
  
"This ain't funny Poker." He stalked off towards the bunkroom.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I can't understand it.  
  
The search for an answer  
  
is met with a darker day,  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Night had finally come. Neither Jack or Firefly had spoken to each other since their argument that morning. Firefly spent most of her day randomly selling papers and walking around Central Park. She had been thinking about what had happened. How it happened. She and Jack had been together for almost a year. She had been hurt by men so many times that she was almost sure she loved him, that he was the one. And then he had to go and kiss another girl. She shook her head, "Da strike went to 'is head."   
  
Firefly avoided him for the rest of the day and when night came she snuck into her bunk unnoticed. Now she was trying to sleep. But every time she closed her eyes, her mind would greet her with memories. Memories of their times together. She tossed and turned all night. Never noticing that he did the same. And never once noticing the pair of eyes that were watching her with a pained look, all through the night.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
We've been handed  
  
these moments forever  
  
But I'm reassured there's another way.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. Don't Let Go

Alright loves the things in *""* those are thoughts. Enjoy! ~Singah  
  
Chapter Two:  
  
One month had passed. One month since the strike. One month since Firefly and Jack had broken up. The two newsies decided to stay friends. Jack, though he wouldn't admit it, felt like an idiot and he was heart broken. Firefly, was hurt and both were frustrated. "It was just one kiss, one meaningless kiss." Jack reasoned. Yet, "Who knew a kiss could mean so much" was the thought that constantly ran through Firefly's mind. Through the course of that month, Firefly turned to her friends for comfort and support  
  
Racetrack was both her selling partner, and her best friend. It was he who watched as she built walls around herself, around her heart. Through out that month they had spent a lot of time together, just talking and having fun. He'd do anything to keep her out of depression. His thoughts wandered back to a day of selling, in Central Park.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Your doin' it again."  
  
Firefly turned and looked her friend in the eye. "Doin what?"  
  
"Thinkin about you an' Jack." He sat down on a nearby bench and patted the place beside him. She smiled sadly and sat down.  
  
"You've become a mind reader now. Hmm?"  
  
"No. You just get dis sad, depressed look in yer beautiful eyes, an' dey tell me what's wrong." She shook her head.  
  
"Ya know, I should be ovah dis. It ain't like it's nevah happened before. An' it was almost a month go."  
  
"Fire, you were together a year. He broke you'se trust. When some one does dat it should always hurt for a bit. Not dat I'm whishin' pain on ya 'er nuthin." He amended.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Returning to the present, Race walked through the lodging house door and up the stairs. He missed the way it used to be. He missed the almost care-free days of childhood. Race ran his fingers through his short dark-brown hair.  
  
Life was so much easier before the hormones kicked in, and before boys were attracted to girls. He smiled to him-self, " O'course, life ain't as fun with out da hormones an' attractions." The smile faded as he opened the bunkroom door. *"Course when one of da two is your best frien' an dey's hurt because of a damn attraction. Den it ain't fun."* Race leaned against the door frame. He felt a flutter in his stomach as he watched Firefly stare out the window at the dirty streets of New York. He watched as she wiped at her face, and hugged herself. *"Jack yer such an idiot. Hurtin' her like dat. She don't need any more pain. She already doubted love before you hurt her."*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
You don't have to close your eyes.  
  
There is room for love again.  
  
Ease the pain to realize.  
  
All that love can be.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Pushing him-self away from the door frame, Race quietly entered the bunkroom. "Hey Fire?" Walking up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. He's done that so many times, hugging was one thing he knew that could give comfort. They both sighed as Firefly leaned against his chest "Hey Race."  
  
"What are you doin'?"  
  
"Nothin' much. Dreamin' maybe." She smiled sadly, and patted one of his arms.  
  
"You alright Fire?" Race hugged her to him as she replied.  
  
"I don't know Race. I- He really hurt me." She paused, "I really hurt. Ya know? I just, really t'ought---" her voice trailed off as Race began kissing her neck, caressing her with his lips. "Mmh- Race," Firefly mumbled something, but the thought was lost as his lips sent shivers up and down her back. There was an unfamiliar fluttering in her stomach, and his lips were sending little electric sparks through her nerves. She leaned her head to the side giving him more access to her neck. Millions of thoughts where racing through her head.  
  
*He's your best friend! Don't do this."* *"That feels so good."* *"What about Jack?"* Thinking of Jack she opened her eyes, and looked towards the door. Her eyes widened as she noticed Jack standing in the door-way, mouth gaping and all. She stiffened, and turned around. Race pulled back as soon as he felt her body tense, he followed her gaze and watched the retreating form of Jack Kelly. He cursed under his breath as Firefly pulled out of his arms. She looked him in the eyes, confusion written all over her face. "I've gotta go talk ta 'im Race."  
  
He grabbed her hand, "Nah, Fire stay here." She squeezed his hand and then pulled out of his grasp. He watched her run out the door, after Jack.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Take a step  
  
And take my hand  
  
And don't let it go  
  
Never let go  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	4. So strong and so blessed

Alright huns, you know the drill. I don't own the Newsies, I don't own any of the characters. I don't own Josh Groban or this song, and I'm not even sure if I own the plot. Lol. Enjoy! ~Kay McRae  
  
Oh and Thank you for Reading and Reviewing!  
  
and Thank you Sarah for editing this, and helping me here and there.  
  
~Kay McRae (~Singah)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter Three: So strong and so blessed  
  
"Jack?" Firefly followed him down the hall and watched him go into another room. She poked her head in the doorway, and saw him standing with his back to her. Taking a deep breath Firefly walked in and placed her hand on his shoulder, "Jack we need ta talk."  
  
Jack cleared his throat, "Talk about what?" he turned his head so he could see her face.  
  
"You know what Fire, I was an idiot. I admit it. Alright. Kissing Sarah was a stupid thing ta do." Jack moved so they were standing face to face. "But you know what else? You have been avoiding me fer de past month. We aren't together any more. An' neither of us have ta explain anything ta each other any more."  
  
"But-"  
  
Jack cut her off. "Dat means you don't have ta explain ta me what you were doin back dere."  
  
"Jack it wasn't what it looked like." Fire gestured towards the door with her hand.  
  
"Wait, your right. We ain't together. And why I'm in here explaining dis ta you is beyond me." *What am I doing here? Why did I follow him?* She stood there for a second, racking her brain, trying to think of a reason for being there. "You know, I- I don't even know why I wanted to follow you. Jack." She paused, looking at his face. "Jack I want to be friends again. But you hurt me."  
  
"I hurt you?! Fire, what was that back there? Ain't that de exact same thing I did ta you? If you want ta be friends, fine we'll be friends, but don't go leavin' me da dust wonderin' what yer gonna do next! I can't just sit around waitin' fer you ta make up yer mind!" Fire shook her head and continued as if she hadn't even heard Jack. "And that thing back there with Race," she shook her head bewildered, "I don't know what that was." She ran her fingers through her hair, and sighed. "I just. gah! I don't know what I'm doin." Groaning in frustration, Firefly turned on her heel and walked out of the room. She walked back towards the bunkroom where she had left Race.  
  
Running her fingers through her hair, Firefly let out a sigh and walked into the bunkroom, "Race," receiving no answer she tried again. "Race?" looking around the room she spotted him by his bed. Firefly stood behind him, her blue eyes wide. "What are you doin?" She watched as Race stuffed his clothes in a bag., then his comb, followed by his deck of cards. "I'm packin." He answered sharply with out looking at her.  
  
Fire shook her head, she could see he was packing. "Why?" was all she managed to choke out, her brain was spinning. *Life is getting way too confusing.*  
  
"I'm packin because I'm goin away." Race replied crossly. He need to get away, he needed time to think, so that he could sort out his feelings and hopefully their situation, or the one he 'created'.  
  
"Your leaving?" the words hit her like a blow to her stomach. "Why?" Her eyes were searching around the room frantically, what she was really doing was racking her brain for a reason that would make her best friend leave her.  
  
Race sighed, finally turning around to face her, "Fire." It was his turn to search, but he was searching for the words to say, to explain why he was doing what he was about to do. "Firefly, we've been friends fer a long time right?" she nodded, holding her breath.  
  
"An' we got close. Right? I mean we're almost, if not de best of friends." He took off his hat and rubbed his fore-head as she nodded again. "Through de five years dat I've known ya, I came ta think of you as a little sistah. An' a friend, and den a best friend." He paused thinking again. "Well I also, I also came ta. love ya in a brotherly way and den a best friend way." He smiled thinking of how he'd been kissing her neck a while ago. *Yeah dat wasn't brotherly.* "I'se known you fer a long time Fire. And some where along da way I fell in love wid you." Race put his arms around her waist and continued, while holding her. "An' I tought maybe I had a chance now dat Jack was gone, and you din't like 'im any more, but den you ran after him, an- " he searched her eyes of a moment. "an' now every one is either confused 'er confusin, an I need ta get away from here." He hugged her then let go, and picked up his bag and headed toward the door, that led to the stairs, that led to the door, that led to the outside.  
  
*Oh no, you can not leave me, why are you doing this Race. I need you here to help me.*  
  
Firefly reached out and grabbed his shoulder just before he reached the door. "No, Race wait. You can't go. You're my best friend. How am I supposed to do. anything with out you?!" *Can't you think of anything better to say?* She shook her head. "Your right. I am very confused right now. But I need you here to help me sort things out, like you always do."  
  
Race scanned her face, her blue eyes were shinning with tears ready to fall, she looked like a lost child, and he just wanted to hold her. Race lifted his hand and trailed it down her check, But he couldn't, hold her. "Fire, dere's some things you have ta sort out youse self." He replied softly. And then he turned back towards the door. And walked out of the lodging house and into the streets of New York.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Broken, once connected  
  
We were so strong and so blessed  
  
In a simple way  
  
So don't let me go with out love  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	5. Hold Your Head Up

Jersey:

The sun wasn't shining, and it was almost dreary outside. Dark cloudy sky; the smell of rain about to fall. The streets weren't crowded as usual, Race was thankful for that in a strange way. He didn't feel like watching where he was going, or bumping into people. Walking alone, thinking; that was his hobby now. The newsie had been in New Jersey for the last two months. During that time he had mostly sold papers, and thought.

The newsie kicked a pebble as he walked along. 'I'm tired of being here.' he was having a conversation with himself. 'Why am I here anyways?' 'Good question.' 'Your here because you wanted to give eachother time to sort out your feelings.'

'Three months is time enough right?' Race turned the corner and walked into the lodging house he had been staying in.

ZzZzzZ

Manhattan:

Firefly stared out the window, looking down into the streets. Her blue eyes glazed over, her mind off somewhere in thought.

"He'll come back Fire."

Jack pushed himself away from the door way, and walked towards Fire, stopping a few feet away. Sighing she blinked bringing herself back to the present. "I hope so Jack." She turned and faced the Manhattan leader. Race had been gone for some time; and surprisingly enough during her best friend's absence Jack and Firefly had become friends again. "He's been gone for about three months now. I miss 'im." she shrugged. Jack let his eyes run over her, wishing once again that he had not been so stupid, and wishing for another chance to be with her.

Grabbing her cabby Firefly walked past some newsies that were moving about the bunk room. "Jack I'll be back later. I'm goin' ta the other boroughs, again." Sighing she walked out of the door, mentally kicking her-self; for the thousandth time, for having let her friend leave. Jack followed her with his eyes. It seemed that was all he could do, watch her. He knew she would never give him another chance but he could dream.

Kid Blink looked from Jack to Fire's retreating form. Jumping down off his bunk the tall boy with blue eyes and a patch, followed the girl down the stairs and out of the lodging house, catching her at the door. "Hey

Firefly! Wait up!"

She spun around, her light brown hair whipping over her shoulder. "Oh, Blink... Hey."

"Hey."

"You need something?" she asked quietly.

"Nah, I jist thought you might want some company 'er somethin." Blink took a step closer and then let his eye rest on her's. Firefly shook her head. "No, uh, sorry Blink I've. I've got to go."

He watched her run off down the crowded street.

ZzzZzzZ

Firefly shook her head. It was close to six o'clock and she had been to all the boroughs.

Every leader gave her basically the same answer.

"Spot yer sure he ain't here?"

"Fire I told you the last two times you were here. I haven't seen Race. An he ain't been here for about

two months."

"I know. I just... thought he might have come by dis time." Spot shook his head.

ZzzZzzZ

"Slash, Race hasn't been around, has he?"

"Fire, Harlem ain't a real safe place for ya ta be running around."

"Have you seen him Slash?"

"No."

"Thanks."

ZzzZzzZ

She kicked at some dirt. "No one has seen him. Not a

Bowery boy, or a Brooky, or Staten, or Long Island, or anyone."

Firefly opened the door to the lodging house. "Where

da hell is he!"

"Wheah da hell is who?" Snot looked up from her card

game, blowing some blonde strands of hair out of her

face. "Jack's up stairs."

"Not Jack. Race." Firefly looked over at Snot annoyed.

"Race who?"

"You wouldn't know him. He left before you came."

Snot just nodded her head and went back to the game.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	6. Nothing Down Below

The days were getting colder, as winter approached.

The selling was not going very well. People were either staying inside, or hurrying to get inside, out of the cold. It was hard for them to sell, but most of the newsies got by, Kloppman wouldn't have the heart to throw them in the street. Firefly shook herself off as she made her way up to the bunk room. "It's startin ta snow guys."

"Yeah, we know." Blink waved her off, and focused on the poker game he was playing.

She smiled and shook her head. Grabbing a blanket she went to the window and said, "I'm goin up," she looked at Jack, "call me for lights out, or whatevah." He nodded and stared after her concerned as she went out the window. Blink glanced towards Jack, "It's your go." Shaking his head Jack looked at the cards in his hand.

"You could probably get'er back ya know." Poker raised an eyebrow, and looked at Jack as he frowned. "Yeah we've all seen you watch her, mope about what ya did."

"Shut it Poker." He cut her off.

Poker's eyes seemed to twinkle with some amusement.

"You ain't even looked at another goil since you two broke it off. At least take da chance, tell her how ya feel." She shrugged and looked over her hand, then at Jack's fierce returning gaze. "Poker…" Jack rolled his eyes frustrated, after a moment of working his jaw and clenching his teeth, he tossed his cards onto the table. "I fold." Saying that he walked over to his bunk and sat on the one below, with his back to his friends and the door. _I do not mope_. He thought.

ZzZzZzZz

Slowly and carefully Firefly climbed up the cold iron fire escape, and went up to the roof. They weren't supposed to be up there, but they always broke that rule, and Kloppman never got mad about it. She looked out at the buildings as she watched the falling snow, the moon was shining and stars were peeking through clouds. Race loved the snow. She thought with a smile. Letting out her breath, she kept back a tear. She sat down on the ledge and just stayed there, watching the city.

ZzZzZzZ

A pair of brown eyes peered up at the dark sky, snow

still falling lightly. He took a deep breath, and let it out; he squinted as something moved up on a roof. Shrugging he walked into the establishment marked Newsboys Lodging House.

"I'd like a bed for de night." Ten cents was gently slammed down on the table.

Koloppman turned from the papers he was shuffling and smiled at his new guest.

"That'll be seven cents young-" Peering through his spectacles at the boy he grinned wide. "Race, my boy, is that you!" Kloppman was out of his chair and around the desk in a jiffy, patting the newsboy on the back.

Race smiled "You bet I'm back."

Kloppman shook his old boney finger at Race. "No, no.

Rules are the same boy no gambling of the kind inside these walls." Race smirked, reaching down he grabbed his bag and headed up the stairs. "Yeah, I missed de gang." _I have ta fix dis… I need my frien's, I need her._ And up he went. Race slowly climbed the stairs,and made his way to the bunk room door, it wasslightly ajar. He took a deep breath let it out slowlyand made his way through the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Turn your head up to the sky,

Nothing down below but me.

To face the truth,

To Realize,

All that we could be…..

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


End file.
